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What is A A.? Alcoholics Anonymous

Although step nine can be difficult, participants should remember that if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. It takes willingness and courage to reflect on and find a resolution to your mistakes. If the recovering alcoholic is able to do this, then it demonstrates that they are progressing positively and ready for the tenth step. The guilt for your wrongdoings will eventually dissipate and by making an apology and amends, you will be able to let go and live. Whenever possible, a direct amend is made face-to-face rather than over the phone or by asking someone else to apologize on your behalf.

  • Many who lived with addiction have past behaviors they’re not proud of.
  • It’s really hard to apologize to those you’ve hurt — it takes courage and humility and requires a deep, intense look at yourself.
  • Dave told us about his family recovery and how it ultimately impacted his sobriety.
  • While I did these things in active addiction, that does not take away from how wrong they were, and the pain and sense of betrayal you must have felt as a result of my actions.
  • When you make amends, you acknowledge and align your values to your actions by admitting wrongdoing and then living by your principles.

There are several studies that have shown that people who were involved in mutual support groups were more likely to remain abstinent than those who tried to quit by themselves. Open AA meetings, which anyone can attend, are usually “speaker meetings,” at which a member of AA will tell their story—what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now. Most AA meetings, however, are closed meetings for members only.

Evidence-Based Addiction Treatments and Step 9 AA

Having a sponsor helps with the ninth step, as sponsors work side-by-side with recovering alcoholics and help determine how to handle making amends. Many sponsors bring an awareness of why individuals are motivated to express amends and can question the beneficial purpose of sharing such information from the past. Perhaps, the amends that you wanted to make might not seem right after discussing with a sponsor.

  • Be humble, be patient, and allow time in recovery to work in your favor.
  • Yet, to be truly successful at forgiving and releasing past wrongs, you need to go directly to the individual you’ve hurt.
  • Step eight of Alcoholics Anonymous asks its members to make a list “of all persons [they] have harmed” and to be willing to make amends to those individuals.

There are three main types of amends, and it’s important to recognize which one is appropriate in a given situation. Understanding some making amends examples can help the individual correct past behaviors. Alcoholics Anonymous is usually listed in the white pages of most local telephone books.

How Will Making Amends Help My Recovery?

We do not receive any commission or fee that is dependent upon which treatment provider a caller chooses. By Buddy T

Buddy T is a writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. Because he is a member of a support group that stresses the importance of anonymity at the public level, https://ecosoberhouse.com/ he does not use his photograph or his real name on this website. The person leading the meeting chooses a topic and members to take turns sharing their experience on the topic. Some AA meetings are designated for a specific purpose, such as 12-step study groups or beginners’ meetings designed to teach newcomers about the basics of the program.

alcoholics anonymous and living amends

It also contains stories written by the co-founders and stories from a wide range of members who have found recovery in A.A. It would be nice if the above outcomes were universal—but they aren’t (of course). Making amends won’t necessarily play out like living amends the ending of a Hallmark movie. Sometimes, the outcome can be uglier and downright disappointing. They may refuse to meet at all or refuse to listen to what you have to say. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when preparing to make amends.

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